Confession No. 1

Day three in the house and I have started talking to the kettle, which I am told is fine right up until it answers.

I came here to stop wanting something I am not allowed to want, on the theory that geography is a cure. It is not a cure. It is a waiting room with a good view.

I will write the truth here because no one will read it. I am not lonely for a person. I am lonely for the version of myself that existed when that person was looking at me. That is the thing I came all this way to put down, and I cannot, and the tide does not care, and tomorrow I will walk out to the point again and let it not care at me for an hour. It helps. God knows why.